I will Get There Someday...

Me... My Emotions... My Thought... My Need...
My Feelings... My Dreams... My Reality... My Life...

Sometimes all of those are circling around my mind,
my heart and my soul...

Give me loads of confusions, some happiness and sadness, 

some thrill, a bit frustration, a little anger and desperation. 

Yet they also bring hopes and lift me high...

But it was pretty hard to find peace of mind,
when I couldn't allow myself of wanting something that I can't get,
and the worst part is I can't stop myself of wanting it...

They just keep moving in circle...

I just know it will take the time,
but eventually,
I will get there someday...

Hopefully...

How I Learn from My Own History...

Why do Human tend to believe one thing and do other thing...???
Is it because Human are created with a room to make mistake... ???

From this condition I learn to choose the best choice, with the wish to do it the right way.. Because in human heart and mind  there's always conflict of interest and voids to be fulfilled...

With the limitation of choices, I would do two things. Make more Options or arrange the priority of needs. At the end of the battle in our life we will find the answer. Which of our choice is the best and which is the worst, also which are in between...

So we have our story and wisdom to tell, that once upon a time we let ourselves fell over the cliff to the deep and dark place. We were survive, we managed to see the light, stood on our feet, and  started to find the path to climb up once again. And the most important thing of this story is ... We could leave a trail...

I guess, that's how human should learn from their history. And live a better life...

Tentang Perempuan dan Potensinya...

Perempuan sejatinya perlu selalu punya Awareness untuk Eksis. Sekalipun dia sudah menjadi isteri dan ibu, dia punya hak dan kewajiban untuk memelihara existence track-nya...

Dalam rotasi bumi... dalam evolusi kehidupan...dalam tasbih semesta... rumahnya hanyalah satuan terkecil di alam semesta... tapi dirinya adalah bagian dari seisi dunia...

Sesungguhnya pada setiap potensi perempuan, ada hak semesta untuk menuai manfaatnya... Ada tanggung jawab pada setiap pengetahuannya... Ada mutiara kehidupan yang fasih mengalir dari tutur katanya... Ada sejarah dunia baru yang lebih baik akan dituliskan oleh tangan halusnya...

Suatu Bangsa akan Bangkit atau Terpuruk sangatlah bergantung pada kehidupan perempuannya... Dari rahim mereka akan terlahir generasi penerus yang kuat...

Apa jadinya bangsa yang perempuannya terpinggirkan dari pesatnya arus kehidupan...???

Teman, tanyakan pada wajah yang kita tatap setiap hari di dalam cermin... Sudahkah aku mengambil peran yang paling cocok untuk berbakti pada semesta...???

"I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself,

Then Make A Change..."
~ MJ

Tentang Emosi Negatif...

Pastikan... Kita menemukan Inner Strength sejati di dalam diri... Sebelum berpikir untuk menjadi ibu yang 'berhasil' mengatasi segalanya dengan cerdas intelektual, emosional dan spiritual... Karena meski bijak itu pilihan... Jangan sampai kita harus jadi orang lain supaya mampu selalu memilih untuk bersikap 'bijak'...

Mengakui emosi-emosi negatif yang muncul di dalam diri a

kan mempermudah kita untuk menemukan cara mengatasinya... Hal ini lebih bermanfaat daripada memaksa diri untuk selalu 'in control' karena ingin memberi predikat cerdas emosi pada diri sendiri... Sebaliknya mengatur perasaan pada gilirannya akan membuat hati kita kehilangan kemampuan sejatinya untuk mengenali rasa dalam diri, menumpul dan kebas... Seperti komentar teman-teman yang mulai kehilangan cara untuk merasa bahagia... Been there done that... I felt nothing but numb and dying inside...

Akui pada lingkungan kalau kita butuh waktu untuk sendiri/bernafas/time out... Karena sedang 'marah'...'sedih'...'kecewa'...'tertekan'... 'terluka'... dsb dst..
. Boleh sejam dua jam.. sehari...bahkan seminggu... Itu bukanlah suatu kelemahan... Untuk menyatakan kita sedang punya konflik dengan diri sendiri sebagai hasil dari konflik dengan lingkungan terdekat...

Cerdas emosi tidak berarti kita bisa menggunakan akal untuk mengatur hati tentang apa yang harus dirasakannya... Tetapi lebih kepada kita bisa mengakui-mengerti-menerima yang sesungguhnya dirasakan dalam hati dan menggunakan akal untuk mencarikan jalan keluar yang terbaik dari konflik yang ada...

Misalnya seperti mengakui kalau tengah kecewa... Daripada mengatakan pada hati, "Alah itu masalah kecil kenapa harus dibesar-besarkan..?" lebih baik kita bertanya pada hati... "Kecewa yaa, kira-kira apa sih sebabnya...?? Apa yaa yang bisa kulakukan untuk mengurai kecewa dan meredam dampaknya...??" Sambil berpikir keras action apa yang kita butuhkan untuk mengembalikan keseimbangan 'rasa' dalam hati...

Begitulah kita belajar dari kesalahan dan konflik yang terjadi dalam diri, tanpa mempersalahkan lingkungan eksternal... Karena pada dasarnya hidup adalah perjalanan untuk terus belajar... Tujuannya supaya kita berakhir dalam kondisi terbaik dan mampu memetik buah perjalanan berupa rasa bahagia karena selalu ada proses yang bergerak setiap hari mendekati tujuan...

"No body is Perfect...
But every single one of Us
always want Perfection…
Let's help Ourselves by realizing,
that all we could do to be perfect is dealing
with our imperfection, perfectly…"

Tentang Aku dan Pemilik Hidupku

Hingga detik ini Aku masih sangat yakin... Bahwa Akal, Hati dan Jiwa kita sudah dibekaliNya peta dan kompas, sejak ruh ditiupkan ke dalam jasad kita...

Seandainya saja dalam setiap situasi kita bisa selalu yakin Sang Pemilik Hidup selalu ada untuk menunjukkan jalan dan mengajarkan pada kita semua hal yang perlu kita ketahui untuk terlaksananya tugas spesifik dan

peran unik Kita di semesta. Alasan utama kenapa kita sebagai pribadi diciptakan. Tidak seorangpun di dunia ini lebih baik dari kita untuk melaksanakan tugas dan peran itu. Ambil term dari wallnya Mba Zha, No One is YOUER than YOU...

Sayang ada kebutuhan sosial di lingkungan kita untuk harus selalu merasa seragam dengan sekeliling, takut tampil beda, ragu jika sendirian dst. Kondisi ini sering mengacaukan transmisi transfer knowledge antara kita dan langit yang kecepatan dan kejernihan pertukaran datanya sangat tergantung pada kedekatan hubungan privasi kita dengan Sang Pemilik Hidup.

Dia hadir dengan segala Kebijaksanaan dan Pengetahuan... KeberadaanNya dalam diri setiap manusia akan lebih dari cukup daripada Mentor manapun di muka Bumi...

Buat Aku kuncinya cuma satu Yakin kalau Dia ADA dan DEKAT... Yakin juga kalau Dia MENGERTI dan SAYANG... Dia bukan Algojo yang siap mempenalti kita dengan Death Sentence...Syurga atau Neraka... Bukan Juga manusia yang suka hitung untung rugi Pahala dan Dosa se simpel 1+1 = 2...

PERCAYA dengan SEPENUH hati.. Segala sesuatu dibiarkanNya terjadi untuk satu alasan... Dan alasan itu pasti harus memuat pelajaran dan hikmah kehidupan bagi setiap yang berakal...

Aku juga masih belum habis pikir dengan orang yang begitu takut dengan suara hatinya sendiri... yang yakin bahwa tidak semua perintah Allah bisa diNalar oleh manusia... Padahal manusia adalah ciptaan yang paling sempurna...

Sejak tahun 2009 ketika pikiran ini pertama kali masuk di diri hingga detik ini aku masih Yakin bahwa Perpaduan Akal-Hati-Jiwa manusia yang senantiasa memiliki koneksi bebas hambatan dengan Source-nya adalah kekuatan terbesar di muka bumi...

Bukan karena manusia itu hebat... Tapi karena manusia seharusnya adalah satu-satunya makhluk yang mengerti apa maksud iada DAYA dan KEKUATAN selain dari DIA Sang Pemilik Kehidupan untuk senantiasa hidup dalam keaadaan benar-benar hidup di Dunia...

(Re-Written from Fitri Abassuni Comment Box.. )

My Feminine Power...

I'm created as a woman with My Feminine Power,
but somehow I fail to use it...

Mostly because I force to use it by imitating
and competing the men masculine power...

Reclaim Feminine Power is about admitting,
accepting and understanding
my own deepest feeling as a woman...

The Feminine power is more about giving my heart
the freedom to feel...
So that I urgently need to stop having my mind

telling the heart what to feel...

Then my mind should help my heart
to find out what to do with my feelings
in the most logical way possible...

Since I found the fact about this feminine power,
I declare my self to stop being smart and wise,
and now I do my best looking for happiness...

I start listening carefully to my truth on what I want and need
rather than thinking loudly about other people's truth...

Now I believe my truth is always the truest truth for me
and my heart will always tell me which truth is the one I need...

As long as I have my inner strength work for me
and keeping me closed and connected with The Source
in crystal clear transmission access...

That's how I reclaim the feminine power
of being the happy real me...



So Heaven Helps...

For All The Women in The World...

Do you realize that we all are created beautifully and it is our destiny to be so Lovely... We all deserve to love and be loved...

Once upon a time my marriage feels like hell when I realize I have never got the Love I deserve... And I was so angry with my family.. Because I've been loving them with all my life.. I gave my youth to them but then I felt they refuse to give me the love that I need...

But then I realized something... I failed to feel the Love, it is not only their fault... It is mine too..

Because somehow, I failed to show them how I want to be loved... I failed to make them learn and understand how I need to be loved...

So I look in deep within me... And find out what I really want and need in this life... Then I understand what my family should do to give me what I want and need... So I can start to make them see, as I see what is important for me... What I want and need to be exist  in my life... Also what kind of life that I really dream of, not only as a mom and wife... But mostly as one complete woman..

That's the journey of finding and to be found...That's how I understand... We will make all people love Us by doing only one thing... Be ourselves and love us the way we are...

Notice our strength and admit our weakness and limits.. We should use the strength to make us grow more beautiful.. Then we can use our weakness to learn how to live the life in better way... Then we can measure our limits and start to make a breakthrough.. So no more limits.. We are on our way to the top of the world, go beyond our horizon...



No body is Perfect... But every single one of Us always want Perfection… Let's help Ourselves by realizing, that all we could do to be perfect is dealing with our imperfection, perfectly…

How Feminine and Masculine Power are United in Sex...

I should say thank you to those who shared dating experience with me and talked about their relation in real life. Their experiences strengthen my understanding, that sex need more feelings than just lust, as relationship need to go a bit further before touching the real sex ground. I'm thinking of one topic that I haven't got chance to discuss it out loud, over and over,  to post here in my blog. But a forum discussion on sex and spirituality had brought this out immaturely a few months ago…

I extremely believe that God Must Be Sexy because He create one beautiful way to keep human race from extinction. As Male and Female created with sexuality power in their Feminine and Masculine default factory setting to  perform reproduction duty on earth.

Feminine and Masculine power are united in sex, which is originally created with main action to produce children. But then again The God must be Sexy to allow Us having very sexy feeling in performing that duty. They also come in a very thrilling and beautiful direction order. Then, somehow human mind create so many additional guiding book on this assignment.

Until today human found a way to enjoy that sexy task without producing human baby with a tool called contraception. This is a big breakthrough in human science for human race which then allowed sex to become another biological need just like air, water and food in human life. 

Suddenly we no longer need family to have sex, more over nowadays we can even have sex without real relationship between male and female. We don’t need to be husband and wife to have sex like in the old days, we don’t even have to be lovers or have the feeling of love to have sexual relation. 

Suddenly my vocabulary notice new funny terms like friends with benefit, fuck buddy and leghumper! What a big breakthrough for my traditional way of thinking as an eastern woman. And from what Uncle Google provide for my understanding this breakthrough is responsible in what so called a sexual chaos in the world.

I would think this fact cause a downfall in many marriage life, because somehow in this jet era there are still people who has old way of thinking even in their legal commitment about healthy sexual relation. They do have every right to perform all the activity in a sex relation provided by the vow of marriage but never really use it at the most.  

So too bad the marriage then fail in giving the male or the female in it a healthy sex relation. That definitely can create an unbalance life for the married couples. And as the balance grow out of control they start to find what they need in other place. The masculine and feminine power start to get lost in fulfilling their basic need for healthy sex relation.

Every mature male and female deserve to have the healthy sexual relation. The level of it is measured by how close those two power are attached to each other. We can always touch the person we have sex with physically but it requires more attachment to really touch the spirit, so body and soul can be blended in sexual interaction.

As a traditional woman, I believe one of the most important ingredient of body and soul connection in sex is love. As sure as the sun need to rise every morning, we do need love to create a happy family. But since now we can have sex without family, then it is possible for any of us to have sex without love, simply just to fill our biological need.

Then my questions out of this situation are :
- Will that sexual relation quench all the thirst and hunger in every single masculine and feminine power who experience this action…???
- Or in the other hand this sexual exploration without love tend to leave a void in human balance even more…???

I'm an overly romantic female who is addicted to love. I wish I can assure me that sex is a perfect act of love, come only to bring more closeness when two people in love, as their souls become one.

I can't imagine having sex without being in love with the very person I am involved in sexual relation with. Like I would rather not eat without appetite. I just wish to live this life at the most with full capacity, as I wish to love with full intensity ...

Like Bon Jovi said :

“It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive

My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks…”

Do you know...???

Till the day I take my last breath,
this smile will always want to be with you..

Now...

Would you please step closer,
so my restlessness could go away..

Will you stay a little bit longer,
so this weariness would subside..

Could you hold my hands for a while,
so the smile will kiss away my tears,
and the wound felt less painful..

Then the wings of hope will spread and start flying
as the winning song is soaring in the air
then the serenity will take over the soul
and float in the real peace of mind...

When all become one in silence
as the memories of yesterday are merged
and create the dream of better tomorrow…