The Story of My Broken Heart

There is always time in life when we feel that things are really getting out of hands. So hard for us to cope and accept the hectic situation that come in to our body, heart, and mind all at one sequence. Giving the burden that seems too heavy for us to lift at the very moment. It is not about the Burden, but more about how I react on that Burden that make the difference...

This magnificent story started with my temporal poor health issue, then came several conditions to my feelings given by people who close to my heart which unfortunately almost impossible to ignore, while at the same time my hands must sort out piles of delayed house works that amazingly multiplied to tons in no time waiting for my recovery, meanwhile I always have  souls to nurture and hungry mouths to feed and last but not least in my list an online paper job must be done soon because an email was coming and gave a “deadline” signal.

I didn’t really notice how it happened but some hours just flow off my day and ‘gosh..!’ the sun suddenly sets. I smile for the coming big boss, thought I would get more hands to help but my smile last only for some split seconds because as he rolled in some of the souls in the house got him furious. Then  ‘pooff..!’ that make me felt like a flatten tyre. I lost the ability of speaking because of the big crack in my heart, I was broken hearted…!!!

My Friend call this is a toilet day (thanks for the term Buddy, I owe you one..!!), where all the shit is just gathering around me and I couldn't flush. Give me overwhelmed feeling and the need to explode. But the flat tyre didn’t give me the energy to go crazy and yell furiously like always. I just sat there in silence felt so weak but totally bumpy inside, then I could only burst in tears and couldn’t hardly do anything at all, simply just trying to keep breathing in rhythm so I got my energy recharged bit by bit not much until I had enough to do one thing at a time.  

First thing in my mind was writing out my feeling online, just the words ‘broken hearted’ but it  worked like an SOS signal, some souls reached out from thousands of miles away sending words of courage and strength, ‘thank you, that was a real heart lifter…!!’.  Then still sobbing in silence I finished the house work, no one dare to speak to me at that moment but  I believed all the souls in the house notice what was going on with me. As I tried to gain my inner peace they stepped in handing their hands to help and I simply felt aloooot better. And try to write those moments in my blog when I got stolen time online :

A Broken Heart

When all I can do is sit in the silence,
keep breathing, accept and let go...

Tears that rolling down to me are my only best friend,
meanwhile they are all I got to sooth the pain...

Wishing every breath I take will bring me closer
to my inner peace and bring the balance back to me... 

So my dearest blog reader… It is not my habit to write about negativity on my blog. But today I learn from a friend's blog that when we actually are trying to cope with any negativity happened  in our life, and somehow we can take the control back in our hands, that experience is worth telling. In this case I got my own control by getting my inner peace and self balance back, this feels so good. Unless I wont be able to write this note at all.

If things got out of control, just sit in silence and breath, hold the moment for a while. At that very moment I remember someone remind me of words I really love to say in my pray...



“ Dear God.. Please grant me the strength and courage to change all that can be change, bless me with the resilience and patience to accept things that cant be change, and please give me the knowledge and wisdom to see the difference….”