Re-post from last month article written on Facebook...
It's been a rough start for the year, makes my life a real roller coaster ride..
First I have to deal with my health issue... Pain in my tummy and
fatigue has been bugging me for a while... Second I have to deal with my
own history, not only the history that was written as I remember it,
but also those that I managed to forget... Especially the history which
bring pain in my life since I was a little creature in mom's womb,
until I grow up, be a mom and a wife, moreover become the person I am
right now...
This month I met a hypnotherapist and moderating a
community sharing with her... Earlier, in the brainstorming session,
she tried to dive in my history and told me that the bug in my tummy has
something to do with the pain I feel in my life... She said that even
if I do the blood test or medical check up, she predicted... The Doctor
won't find anything...
And the hypnotherapist was right...
Last week I saw an internist to solve the problem in my tummy, some
dear friends and my brother urged me to do so... The doctor who examined
me only smiled and asked me, "what kind of check up do you want to
run..???".. She supposed to be my doctor, why would she ask me this
question... As if she didn't believe I do feel the pain...
Yet.. I told her I just want to check if all the organs in my tummy are
working properly... So, i pick to check my liver, kidney, cholesterol,
glucose and blood quality counting... I assumed the result of those
blood works will be enough to answer what is wrong or tell me that I am
fine.. And as predicted.. Everything is normal... Nothing is wrong with
me...
The next question is... Why I feel the pain...???
The Internist also told me if the result come out good, then I will
need to see a psychiatrist... Not because I am insane... (I believe
insanity is a gift, not illness...) More because I have to deal with the
pain my history gave me in my feeling.. It was in my heart and mind, it
tore my soul apart, it haunted my present now it gave real pain in my
body.. So I need someone with credibility to follow me having the
journey to the past.. And allow me to set a truce between my memories,
my mind and my heart .. So I will find the real peace in the life in me,
inside my body and soul...
I want to set myself free from the
pain in my past... I want to stop worrying of my future... I want to
live at my present with happiness and comfort... I want to start
believing in the real me... And love myself for who I am,
unconditionally...
Life is too short to live with sorrow and
pain.. Time to start believing in dream.. Smile with gratitude.. Walk
with dignity and integrity.. Work with respect and confidence.. And be
happy to love with full intensity and live with full capacity.. So help
me, God..
Bunch of Love,
Arifah H.
