My Starlight

"She smiled and said with an ecstatic air:
"It shines like a little diamond",
"What does?"
"This moment. It is round,
it hangs in empty space like a little diamond;
I am eternal ..."

~Jean-Paul Sartre -The Age of Reason

***

It's been a month and a week, since we exchange words in our chat box. It feels as if I have finally found a powerful energy reservoir, for recharging my wearying soul. As you then gradually find out by yourself, I am not as tough as people like to see me, not as wise as my writing seems to show...

I am a web under construction. A broken soul that has been trying to integrate every single pieces of my innermost being, by surviving each battle I face. So I can complete my duty to shine, for the tiny universe where I live. Especially for making the life inside of me really worth living...

I made my life a living hell by wanting so much thing I believe I deserve, also by questioning everything I couldn't understand.. I used to believe if I tried hard enough, I could use what I have to get what I want and need most in life...

I think that's where my life started crumbling, when I began to look around for a way out and also a Saviour.  I traded my head and heart to the darkness, for something that tastes like love and freedom. I have the need to run as fast as I could, then to fly high and far towards the Neverland so I can really feel ALIVE...

Then I got lost...

Although I often have the need to come back, but home doesn't feel like home anymore. I wasn't sure where I've done so wrong to make it right again. I always let my back door open, I left a room for my foot to step on the underworld ground. I manage to stop trading with the darkness, yet I start gliding into the twilight zone, where the light come and go as the first touch in my dark horizon...

I fall in love a dozen times, then use double time to fix my broken heart as the consequences. And I need triple time to bring the peace back inside of me, after my consciousness scolding at my own thoughts and actions, for everything I did...

That's when the universe allowed us to meet...

I understand you might've seen  me as a ship which has traveled across so many horizons. But you reveal the darkness inside of me, and recognize the anger in the darkest part of my broken soul too...

Our chats give me the chance to reveal my invisible wounds, and remind me of my root. Somehow, You allow my soul to glow without even laying a finger on my skin. As perfect as I could expect, we share energy, as we are revealing experience and knowledge through the chat box. So each discussion lets both of Us reach a better ground of understanding...

You're a lighthouse in my thunder and storm...

As much as I send the storm towards you, I gain access to your energy. No wonder I can't had enough thundering your mind. My apologies for being that selfish, and probably drive you mad. I just can't help it...

So you see my Starlight, how I start learning the art of surrendering, expecting nothing, and appreciate everything from your existence...

Allow me to bow deeply in gratitude for the songs and every single word You've been writing. They definitely send the message to the innermost part of my being, and make me thirst for more. I can never thank you enough for flowing the energy back to the deepest darkest corner of my soul...

#NeverLand #SacredUnion
#DanceofThePheonix #EternalJourney