The Perfectly Imperfect Me....

If blood will flow when flesh and steel are one
Drying in the color of the evening sun
Tomorrow's rain will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay
Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetime's argument
That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could
For all those born beneath an angry star
Let we forget how fragile we are
On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star
Like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are
How fragile we are

~Sting – Fragile

After all these years, surprisingly I should face more of this phase. And my head told me to play this song over and over again, like I did six years back. Looks like I need  to find another pieces of my own fragility puzzle once more.  

Well yes,  I must admit this is an unavoidable part of  being Me, for I am just human with all of the consequences of being in ups and downs crisis of life. Including facing the wound,  I thought I have cured.  Yet, it is still there wide open,  for I have just broke my heart again. Tonight, it is bleeding badly as the heart brutally torn apart.

Why...?

Same question I ask the sky,  couple of weeks ago.  When I have to face another foolish beat of my heart, by being in Love.  

Yes, LOVE has always been my strength, yet the journey to embrace LOVE was also revealing my weakness, exposed me to the pitch black part of my soul... 

As I have to face the broken me, and asked why after all those years knowing, no one could hurt me without my permission, I could be beaten like this...

Yeah, I know fragility will allow me to see my truest strength, through measuring my own weakness. As the only way to reach the light, through embracing the deepest darkest spot in my soul.  I have learned that I am not unbreakable, but everything should happen for a reason.  And it is always about me and me alone, I may not blame anyone for my broken heart, including me...

Now, I need to build things up again in better order,  after  the wound show me which part is still broken, scattered and torn apart. So here I am, licking all my wound and telling myself all the tears will be worthy to wash my soul, while Sting is singing in my ears...

The way Sting talk about how fragile we are, still gives me the understanding of a growth hidden in all the fragile phases we face in life.  His words explain how the life must go on at all cost, in a very profound perspective. Those words and the melody is echoing in my heart the way it was before,  telling me to respect every pain and embrace all the rage I faced, so then I could wash them once again with tears from the star.

The music dare the broken part of my being to turn the empty space into a solitude sanctuary for me to heal. As I struggle to convert the bitter taste of this pain, into medicine that will finally cure me. So I will not have this hollow space as an extra baggage inside of me, ever again...

   

Now  I began to dare my own rage to embrace forgiveness,  as I accept the one in me who still feels the pain deeply. No worries little one, you are safe...  I LOVE YOU as YOU ARE...

Indeed, it is a true blessing to have what a friend of mine called an instant burst of comfort from the universe, after days feeling so fragile, yawing in this roller coaster mode.  As I have always believed, if we do something in the name of LOVE and  kindness for any part of the planet.  The universe will smile at us and return that favor in the most surprising way.  Including by letting this music kicks in.

I wish what I have been writing can always vibe something good for the universe, so my life can always be worth living till the day I shall take my last breath... 

Thank YOU for showing up in my heart once.  Though missing you is tough, I know something good will eventually show up from this Journey. You know what was there - still is, probably for good, but now it is there for me to learn how to perfectly embrace the imperfect ME. 

#LovenLight
#Fragile