Tell Me, Is It Real...??

(A Sweet Gift ;)...)

Why will I become addicted to you? What is it? What makes me weak? What is it make me feel to want you?  Is it your mind?  Is it the way you talk? Is it the kiss on your forehead I give each time? Does it do more to me?  Is it not just a kiss for your soul? Is it more a physical attraction?

Do I have the feeling I need to kiss your nose? Do I feel the need to kiss your ear? Or do I want to kiss your neck? Very soft and gentle… What is this heat in me? Coming up so fast..? I feel  difficulty to breath… Your lips, sweet and red, but I am afraid to touch them with my lips, so I put my finger on your lips and I feel the sensation of love...

Shall I leave?  Shall I stay? What does she want me to do…

Finding, Loving and Passionately Living The Life to Feel Alive...

This is come from My Personal Experience, wrote spontaneously in facebook Comments Box... On the Group She's Always a Woman Post :

"When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details.You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you're expected to move again only you don't remember what moves you because no-one has asked in so long. Not even yourself. You never in your life think that love like this can happen to you." - The Bridges of Madison County

I was lost completely in Motherhood that taken all my heart, mind and soul... I love My Children and Husband... And gave... in myself 100%... For Giving birth and nurture my 4 children... 3 of them born only in 2 years 10 months... I breastfeed all of them myself, never less than 2 years each... So can you imagine how drawn I was in Love I provide to all the members I have on board...

Although I don't really care of my personal soul and heart need... Because, having children is fulfill me completely at that time... Just by looking at their smile and laughter I feel complete... And giving My Husband a comfort shelter for him to be 'reborn' everyday. That was enough to take all my time...

It was going on until my 9 years in marriage... Then something happen that slap my face... A sister in law come to my home and said "Don't you want to make money on your own... You're still young and educated...!"

It's really not about money, at all... I look in the mirror and see a woman without future of her own... Her only pride is her children and family... She hasn't done anything to for herself and for this world..  (I always dream, my life must mean something to the world.)

I don't want this kind of life... My children are growing... They no longer need 100% of their mother... So I decided to make The Change...

Physically I was look too old, worn and fat.. I'm only 159 cm with 65 kg.. Then the plan was started simply, by making commitment to back in shape again... In 3 months only, I lost 10 kg while still breastfeed my youngest boy...

I got my shape back... And as bonus... I was reborn... Because, the spirit and flame inside me is back too... I started to look for things I can do passionately... Based at home... I can find a good enough nanny to replace me at home... If there's so we probably cant afford them...

Because nothing can replace a woman to do her professional work as a mother... Nobody is good enough to give only the best for her children... The best care, protection, plan, education and love...

But The Mighty Allah never fall asleep... He show me the way to do something for this world from Home... He make me start to write again, as it was my hobby... I share my experience in facebook... My account start from March 2009, and in April 2009 I created a Smart Parenting with Love community Group  in facebook too...

By writing and gathering with people with same concern... I started to feel alive again... And in March 2010, some of my articles was asked by a publisher to be a book without I even need to print it in hard copy...

After the book publish, I was asked to tell my experience on stage... And now here I am... A new me... with mission in life... taking back my life again after gave them all to my family...

The Points You need to learn from my experience... Even if your life trapped at home because of your mothering duty...

Nothing... I really mean NOTHING... can stop your heart, mind and soul to move... You can always do something with passion from home as long as you care enough for the life inside yourself to realize what you really want... Don't feel trapped at home, achieve more...!! Everything is Possible... As long as you keep on dreaming, think big and take action to make it come true... Go beyond yourself...

Finding, loving and passionately living yourself as a woman... is the very important to be a professional mother.. Who knows exactly what her children and husband need, and give the best for them without loosing herself... I wish more woman can be as happy as I am now... This Earth need Happier Women to do something... Because, She's always a Woman... Rite...???  Woman must keep on moving in order to do something for the world...

Not just a choice, happiness is a challenge too... We must fight for the happiness we need... just in case there isn't one in the options we have...Then We can make more options... It's possible, for we have so much love to share with the world...

Bunch of Love,
Arifah H.

The Journey

I'm true to my heart
for admitting all my feelings,
But I wont betray my soul
by refusing to see the right way to take..

The Journey may take forever,
I'll let The Mighty taking over
how to plan all the path I should go
and the direction I must turn...